Keep your eyes on the Celestial City

Last night, as we were getting the kids ready for bed, Matt was watching "A Christmas Carol" on TV and Jonah was in his room finishing up "Little Pilgrim's Progress". The scene on TV was of Marley visiting Mr. Scrooge. I asked Matt why Marley was in chains. I know it had been explained before but I couldn't remember. "He's bound to the things he bound himself too in life. Whatever he deemed as most important and above all else and weighed him down in life are now his chains in death." Heavy stuff! After that I went in to see how Jonah was doing. He had to finish the book last night as it was due tomorrow. He read the final chapters to me and then said something that was just as heavy. "We have to keep our eye on the Celestial City and not focus on the troubles around us. Mom, that means we have to keep our eyes on heaven and not the problems we have right now." My heart was full at hearing my son say that. "Jonah, that's so true. Christ and his Kingdom are forever and they're all that really matters. The troubles of today are temporary but the Celestial City is forever and it's beautiful."

I've been struggling to be close to my Father for a while now. It's been a very hard few months. All of the things I had bound to myself as being something I could rely on or find some form of comfort in are being stripped away form me. I found out that I will no longer be able to keep the role I love and while I am working towards other roles, they're not a guarantee... Therefore, my future employment is not promised like I thought it once was. We get home and we're exhausted and the house is not being kept up.... Matt was sick for an entire week meaning we lost an entire weeks worth of pay (with Christmas right around the corner no less)... And, I'll be very honest, I'm REALLY struggling with accepting the outcome of the election. I never thought the results of any election would scare me as much as this one does. I have long felt our nation was a good one but not great... but now I've lost faith that it's even a good one. To see that the people I know and love have bound themselves to propaganda, fake news and fear to the point that we elected a thin-skinned man child to the highest office of the land has shaken me to the core. I say these things not to pick a fight but to bare my soul with the struggles I'm having. Every day I read news, hear news, see news of this person throwing a tantrum over stupid things, berating and attacking those who dare to publicly disagree with him and put CEO's and Wall Street Fat Cats in position of power and I tremble. I see hate crimes in my home country rising and fear and hate ruling the day. I know I have repeatedly asked God to prove to the nation that we aren't really a Christian nation but I never expected he would use Christians and those who claim to be Christians to do it.
All of these things have sunk me low and, even in this joyful season... This season of perpetual hope... The season where we are supposed to remember the greatest gift God has ever given... I have found myself broken and sorrowful. That's why last night hit me so hard. Over the last few months I have bound the troubles of the now to me as if they were all that actually existed or mattered. For years I have clung to the comforts of this life as being the things that bring real comfort. God has seen fit to pull the curtain off of the mirror and show me what I've done. Bit by bit he is taking away the things that have lulled me into a false sense of comfort and temporary happiness and has laid bare what I really need. I need HIM. I need to keep my eyes on HIM and his Kingdom! That is where true joy comes from. That is where true comfort and peace come from. They don't come from me having a cushy job. They don't come from my government. They don't come from a clean and well put together house. They come from Christ. God, forgive me for clinging to things that don't matter in the end. Help me to keep my eyes on the Celestial City and on you.

A New Era

To all of my friends and family out there: We are all different. We are all handling this new period of American History in different ways. Some of my friends (including my buds in the LGBT community) are very scared right now about what the future holds under a Trump presidency. Some of my friends (including some family members) are excited about the fact that there is a fresh face leading the way vs. a career politician and are hopeful/excited.

I think I've made it abundantly clear what side of this my immediate family falls into. Let me flesh this out a bit more because we have GOT to figure out a way forward... So let me do my best to try and presents both sides as best as possible to see if we can find some common ground.

Trump supporters:

There are two kinds of Trump supporters I know.. Those who did not like him but voted for his platform and those who really liked him. This is what I understand of those camps

People who supported his platform supported his stance on abortion, his stance on growing the economy, his stance on conservative values and putting in a conservative judge. They liked that he wants to put terms on senate/congress....They wish it would have been another candidate like Rubio or Cruz but felt it was better than voting for a career politician who was clearly corrupt and is in Wall-Street's pockets. To these kind of Trump supporters.. I tend to be more understanding and gracious... I could have seen myself wanting to vote for those kind of ideals too had they not been represented by Trump.

Then there were the people who actually LIKED Trump, the whole package.. I'm still going to be as fair as possible but I readily admit it's harder for me to be gracious here...They liked him for all the things that the other kind of Trump supporters liked about him. They liked that he didn't hide his anger and has/had a very authoritarian manner. They were/are wooed by the fact that he is a business man and are convinced he has/is a very successful one.. They see a country full of "save zones" and cry baby college kids and they want someone with the 'balls" to say "Suck it up". They want to see someone with authoritarian type power who will put cry babies in their place and make people work for their money.

Never Trumpers/Clinton supporters:

As for the other side of the coin.. That is way way more diverse than I could possibly explain but I will at least do my best to explain it from my families point of view and from a few of my friends that I know well enough.

We see Trump's platform with regards to the environment as atrocious. He wants to put the Dakota Pipeline back in business and wants to get out of the UN's deal on a greener planet.. On top of the fact that he is a climate change denier. These are all things that baffle my mind. In watching the history of Trump and his character unfold, it is apparent to me that he will say anything that he thinks will get him ahead (sound like another candidate that was running?). He's a showman, a huckster. Someone who knows how to run a successful reality show (pretend drama, find a bad guy and a good guy.. if none of these things exist, make them exist). He has made it clear that Muslims are to be seen with suspicion and that he fully wants and expects everyone to be ready and willing to turn their Muslim friends in at a moment's notice (remind anyone of the red scare?). For others, they find Pence just as scary as he is very anti-LGBT rights... Considering how fresh that victory was for them they have a real reason to be afraid that somehow these two will find a way to rip the victory out of their hands... A victory they've spent decades working for. (agree with the victory or not). This is a man who has demeaned women, made careless and flippant responses to anyone he doesn't like or doesn't agree with and has made it clear that he's more than happy to seek out revenge on anyone who "wrongs" him. The laundry list of character flaws that could be rolled out on this man are numerous and for that big reason alone many of us couldn't bring ourselves to vote for him.

Now we're a country even more divided. The Trump supporters are granting no lee-way to those who are devastated and voicing their devastation and the looters are only fueling the problem. Trump supporters act like they can't even fathom why anyone would be upset to this level... As if they didn't pay one iota of attention to the words that came out of his mouth the entire time he was campaigning. No one is allowed to voice their opinion without complete ridicule. If you feel like I've ridiculed you personally, I apologize.. I am upset, I make no apologies for that.. I'm upset that someone so openly loved by the KKK is our leader and I'm upset that our country was so lost in it's way that we decided Trump and Clinton were the best we could come up with. I'm upset because bigots and racists are committing violence against minorities and I'm upset because others are looting and fighting in the street.

I am upset because instead of Trump supporters being gracious and reaching over the aisle to say "hey, Muslim/black/Latino/LGBT, friend.. Don't you worry. I'll protect you! You're loved." They're acting like they just don't understand why anyone is upset and waiving it off with a "get over yourselves, your candidate lost, big deal." Guys, it IS a big deal and the sooner you can understand and accept that, the faster we can reach a point of peace.

People who are crying out in despair and scared and upset and wanting to protest right now.... Please take a step back and breath. You're going through the 5 stages of grief right now and I absolutely get it... But I can't think of a single person who actually voted for this guy who truly hates you, your race, creed, nationality or sexual orientation. Yes, this event did embolden and empower that rotten minority of the population, but that's still the minority of the population. The only way we are going to make this work is if you also reach back across the aisle and say "I want this to work. Please, protect me from the hateful few and let's talk about how we can make this better."....

This isn't a promise things will truly get better. All things considered, everyone would be wise to observe everything closely, listen closely and process it all. All of us, myself included, need to not be so quick to comeback with a snarky fast witted remark. All of us need to stop blaming the media or the bigots or the looters and take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror. How can YOU be an agent of peace today... How can I be an agent of peace today.

Step 1. PRAY. We all need Christ now more than ever. These are tough times for a lot of people and we need the King of peace if we're going to have peace.

Step 2. Allow people space to air their grievances without ridicule.

Step 3. Before commenting or arguing, ask yourself "am I emotionally caught up in this right now? Do they have a valid point at all? Will what I say help bring about understanding or just create more problems?... If you're emotionally caught up in the moment, wait until you're not.. If they have a valid point make sure to mention that to them.... If what you are going to say is going to just make things worse or start a fight.. SHUT YOUR MOUTH... Please!

Step 4.If you see someone airing fear or grievances, reach out to them to assure them that you love them and would fight along side of them if the government actually did try to make their life harder or take away rights (and if you wouldn't be willing to do that, you need to evaluate why you're even in their life).

Step 5: Check your own fear and anger at the door when talking to other people. I'm fearful and I'm angry but I know and always have known that there were people who supported Trump who were not deplorable or awful people.. and I want them to know that I still don't think they're deplorable or awful, misguided yes but not awful. Whenever we speak I hope you understand that my disagreements with you are just that, disagreements.... Until the day comes where you actually support an action that would take away people's rights or ruin the lives of families etc. ..But until then I will continue to lovingly disagree with you. We may not always have kum-by-ya sessions together and I may not always like what you say, but you have a right to your opinion and I won't try to shut your opinion up either (unless you get rude, I have to draw a line somewhere.)

Step 6: We have all got to really try and understand the other sides point of view. Look. I get it, you guys wanted fiscal responsibility and conservative judges and a tighter reign on a smaller government.. I get that... That makes sense to me... But, please understand our perspective too... This man's character is simply awful and so we have very little hope that he will succeed with what you're hoping... Not only that but a bit of me is really scared if he does succeed. If he is wildly successful what will that say about future candidates? Will the next one be of even worse character and even more authoritarian and more car salesman like and sell us all on a wild dream that inevitably crushes us? You have to ask yourselves these kind of questions.

Step 7: If and/or when something goes wrong with this presidency.. and especially if/when it all goes down hill please do NOT brag... Share facts... and that may sometimes include a bit of "guys, I was warning you about this".. but there is a way to say it without a nasty "I told you so".... This advice is also for if things go well.... Bragging about everything turning out the way you hoped it would is not going to help either. In either case you're just belittling your fellow man.. and that shouldn't be what we want. We should want unity. Maybe it won't always be that way... Maybe someday in our countries future there will be another revolution or civil war.. but let's not make that be today... Let's fight with all we have.. But for unity and peace... We must do that with all that we've got for as long as we've got.

This has been a very long write up... and that's why I put it in the blog verses right to facebook... Because what I have to say is just too short to be summed up in a tiny post. I hope you guys have read it and I really hope we can find a way to work together and stop tearing each other apart.

It's really happening.

"If you can't see that far ahead.... Go ahead and go as far as you can see."- Bob Blincoe

I'm extremely excited to share with everyone that we have official travel dates to Port Shepstone South Africa. We'll be leaving right at the end of May and be there for 2 short weeks. Matt and I are both extremely anxious and excited about what God has in store for us. We also were able to successfully partner with Helps Ministries for our fundraising needs for this trip, along with that means having someone (with better skills than myself) format our letters into nice works of art.

I received word that our fist newsletter went out in the mail yesterday. Couple that news with having dates blocked, plane tickets and car rental booked and it's finally hitting us on just how real this is.  Lord help us to be humble, reverent and teachable as we continue to move ahead in faith and trust.

Dismantling the American Dream

"The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States, the set of ideals... in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity.. success and an upward social mobility...achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers."- Yes I did just pull this definition from Wikipedia.

"Life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone with an opportunity for each according to ability or achievement regardless of social class or circumstances of birth."- James Truslow

In America, the "dream" is about getting richer, healthier, more comfortable and therefore "happier" than the generation before. Many put their focus solely on the hard work aspect "It doesn't matter where you were born or what your circumstances are, if you just put your shoulders in and muscle through it you can accomplish anything." Others focus on the barriers that need to be removed in order for that hard work to make maximum difference. "People can't reach their full potential unless we remove the extra barriers that have been placed in their lives due to the circumstances of their birth and social class." We could debate endlessly over the health of "The American Dream" in today's world. But that's not why I'm talking about it.

At it's heart, the American dream is about getting more; More wealth, more food, more stuff. It's also about getting less; Less work, less discomfort, less struggle. Is that really what's best? No, not really. Do the values of the American Dream line up with God's values? Again, no not really. Now, you'll hear other Americans say "Hang on a second! God values hard work. He values and wants people to of every social class in his kingdom! Those are all part of the American Dream and they are GOOD values." In a sense, that's true. God does value hard work and he does value those of every social class... But for what end? Nowhere in the Bible do I read that God desires for us to have upward mobility within the classes. Nowhere do I see where God wants us to do a lot of hard work so that we can retire and kick back towards the end of our lives. The whole point of the American Dream is to improve your stance in life as defined by the socioeconomic classes defined by our country. That is very much the opposite of what God wants.

The whole point of socioeconomic classes is so that we can be better than someone else. "I know I have arrived at the next stage of wonderfulness when I no longer have to live in "that" part of town or when I no longer have to send my kids to "that" school. I am no longer part of the undesired "others" but now part of the next group up. I'm climbing that social ladder to something amazing. Oh sure, I'll be more generous as I climb this ladder but that doesn't change the fact that I WANT to climb this ladder." If you were born in America you were raised on this concept, in one form or another. Maybe it wasn't so straight forward. It was probably more in the "you can accomplish whatever you dream of if you work hard enough" way of thinking. Many of us were raised to think of those who didn't climb out of their current social rung were lazy for not aspiring to be more (see: higher up on the ladder) and that those who were on the top got there from all that fabulous hard work and deserve the right to kick back (regardless of whether or not the results of the hard work were inherited or not)...  The point is, no matter how the American Dream was presented to you it's end goal is for you to rise above your current circumstances (which, no matter where you are on the ladder, isn't good enough) and make yourself even better.

What does God want? God wants us to work hard to achieve His glory. (Matthew 5:16. 1 Corinthians 10:31, 1st Peter 4:11 ) He wants us to take care of those that society has called "lazy" and "worthless" because of where they seem to be stuck at (or willingly staying at) in life. (James 1:27, John 14:28) God wants us to be worried about our spiritual upward mobility, not in that we need to become better or more spiritually pure than our neighbor but because we desire to be closer to our Father. Not only that but he desires that we help others on this journey and not leave them to figure it out on their own. (John 5:44, Matthew 28:19-20 ) He desires for us to put others needs before our own, to worry more about how we can remove the barriers in other peoples lives and relieve the stress found there so that they can have a better glimpse of the love, peace and grace that their Father in Heaven offers them. (Phillipans 2:4)

We have got to dismantle this American Dream. As Christians it can NOT be our dream.  Our dream should not be of our own success and our own laurels to sit upon, it must be to help others reach true success and true comfort and that comes in knowing and following Christ.

A Dirty Cup

I had the joy of having a date night with Matt the other night. We were able to drop the kids off with his boss and enjoy an evening out. It was a rare and precious thing for us. After dinner, we went to have coffee at a local coffee shop. While there I noticed a plastic cup. There was nothing special looking about the cup, but my eyes grew wide and I immediately had to grab my camera and take a picture of it. Matt didn't understand what the big deal was until after I had texted my mother about it and he saw the conversation that took place between us.

This cup looks exactly like a series of cups my Grandmother used to own. My mother and I reminisced about how we used to dye our Easter eggs in them and use them as the water cups for cleaning our paint brushes. She still has one in her craft room for that exact purpose.

It was just a little cup but it had so much emotional sway over me. If my mother's house was burning down, that cup would be one of the main things I'd want to save.

We are God's "dirty cup". We are not special in it of ourselves. In fact, most of God's most precious children are those that others would see as worthless. It is not usually the World Leaders, the rich and the powerful that God cherishes.. It's the "dirty cups".

It is how God cherishes us and uses us that makes us so special and precious to Him. Don' worry about how much others value you. Your worth is found in Christ. He ensures that we are saved from the fire, not others.

Having the right perspective

    "The living God is a God of missions." This is what kicked off this years round of Perspectives on The World Christian Movement. A great 15 week class that bursts open people's hearts with how awesome God is and how his end goal is to be glorified by all nations, people and tongues. While it's main focus is not to tell everyone how they need to get out there and jump into missions in the 10/40 window (the space on our globe that have the least reached people groups), be warned, by taking the class that very well might happen.... Maybe not the 10/40 window exactly but your desire to get up and do something, to act, to be part of God's missional plan. I took this course, officially, about 8 years ago, very pregnant with our youngest at the time. I had been kicking around the idea of short term missions and wanted to really know what was going on out there. I wanted to understand if it was something I could even do. Don't get me wrong, God made all of us to be "on mission" for him, but I have always struggled with being a bit dubious on just how "on mission" he made me. I'm sassy, loud and independent, and I don't enjoy passing out tracts, "cold calling" people with the gospel or just starting up gospel oriented conversations with total strangers.... so, clearly, if God was going to use me for global work, it was going to be short term... Where I could go and meet a few physical needs, get uncomfortable enough with how good I have it compared to the rest of the world, and then come home and get cozy again for a while.
    By the end of the that initial Perspectives class I was pumped. Short term, here we go. World travel, make a difference, plant seeds all over the place.. I'm going to do my little tiny part. Matt, on the other hand, went "Life time, here we go!" To be fair, he was already kind of there. He purposefully picked his career in plumbing so that he could be of use anywhere and, if need be, be a tent maker type missionary. Needless to say, while God was working in our hearts, it was at different levels and at different speeds. Funny how he does that. I went off on a few short term trips to Canada and enjoyed my experiences for the most part (there may have been some "cold call" style conversations involved, not my thing.) but I appeared to have stalled. I know I've told the rest of the story since then, so I'm not going to go through it all over again. We'll skip to the good stuff.
    Here I am today, working at going on a short term trip to Port Shepstone South Africa... and not so I can "do some good" and then come home and get comfy again, but with the outlook that this could be life long. I know I said at first that I was hesitant about the calling, especially since the temptation of just being with our friends is very real but I can much more confidently say now that this is no longer the case. The more time I have to think on this sudden shift the more I realize that I am no longer satisfied with this comfy life. I'm no longer content to build a name for myself, instead, I'd much rather build a name for the only one who deserves it..  My God! As we reach out to various mission organizations and seek out Godly counsel and training, I am open and ready to the possibility of working somewhere other than my first "choice". Don't get me wrong, I want to be with the Genesis team, I still want to be in South Africa and helping in the computer room... but I'm no longer closed off to the idea of going elsewhere... And I would still want to go check out Genesis even if Sam and Anna said they would be leaving eventually. My heart feels refreshed and rejuvenated. It's a good place to be in.

Inexpressible Joy

"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory."- 1st Peter 1:8

    My heart is overflowing with this passage today. Sometimes we can feel so distant from God. Unlike the apostles/disciples, we never got to see our Lord's face. I didn't hear his words with my own ears or wash his feet with my own tears and yet... I love him. He never physically met me at a well and said "Go and sin no more" and yet I believe in him and I believe in his saving grace. It truly is an inexpressible joy.

    South Africa has me feeling this way too. I keep looking into what life will be like down there, who the people are, and the challenges we'll face. Yet, despite my late night ponderings of "you're crazy, Amber." I'm in love with these people. I haven't met many of them but I love them and what makes it more exciting is to hear that the feeling appears to be mutual. I keep getting trickles of information fed to me about how others there are excited at the prospect of us coming and staying. Meeting after meeting is being set up and arranged, whether that be with our own church or with others that are interested in helping us get there. To feel Christ's love poured out on us by his people... by my Godly family is too beautiful for words.